Wednesday, January 28, 2015

My therapist doesn't seem to think PA is a real thing

I'm pretty sure that a while ago I made a post about my husband coming into one of my therapy appointments with me sometime after he got home from "that fateful trip". It wasn't planned or anything. He just happened to be home so I invited him and he came. We were running late because there was a truck in front of the house so we couldn't leave. (We were having our new bed delivered.)

Anyways, during that appointment we brought up Porn addiction, and the possibility that my husband had it, and that it was the root of so many of our problems. Though he seemed to listen and take it into consideration, it was pretty apparent that during that appointment he wanted to push aside porn addiction as the problem, and talk about this as a whole. Then, in subsequent visits, when ever the subject gets brought up, I can't help but to feel like he doesn't really know anything about it. Not only that, but I feel that it's his lack of knowledge that makes it impossible to talk about the subject with him. Whenever some porn addiction related issue gets brought up, he wants to explore reasons why and shit, and I'm like, "there's nothing to explore here, it's a waste of time. Understand that it's porn addiction so we can move on from the cause to how if affects me."

Instead of being able to talk about my feelings on the subject and how if affects me, I feel like I have to defend my feelings. It's really frustrating and honestly makes me mad. I know that a lot of this stems from the fact that research on the subject is so new, and he's been practicing for so long that he's probably never had cause to encounter it before, but I really don't like being the route of learning for him.

I really just want to say, "Here. Here's a bunch of links to studies and videos, and here are a whole bunch of other people who are suffering too." I want to show him that there is legitimate research, and legitimate psychological affects on people who have this addiction and their partners. I've sent him an email today about something else entirely, but also made a point to include my feelings as an afterword. I also said to expect a 12 page email with more information.

Why am I so mad right now?

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