After accepting that my husband may be addicted to porn, I decided to look up some videos. Below I'm going to link to the 5 prime videos that really made a difference in how I felt, and below each video, I'm going to list the things that stood out to me about the video. (This is as close to the order I watched them in as I can remember)
- Story about masturbating to porn from a young age.
- No drive for life. Not entirely applicable...
- Couldn't get turned on with a real girl. No matter what.
- Test to do to see if ED was caused by porn.
- Science behind what porn does to brains.
- Novelty, Shock and Surprise.
- Just can't compete.
- Some guys can get an erection at first, but lose it.
- Change in sexual taste.
- The younger you are when you start watching porn, the more deeply those pathways will become.
- You become numb.
- 9 months to recover; continued improvement. Can concentrate better.
- Just give it up and see what happens.
- Unending novelty
- Ram diagram/Coolidge effect
- Science behind...
- Porn harem slide" Digital: Alone... clicking, searching, multiple tabs..."
- Real Sex slide: basically all of the things I want.
- What happens when a person who is already addicted to porn, finally gets with a real person
- "What the heck is water?"-fish
- Arousal addiction symptoms: depression, social anxiety, performance anxiety.
- Sex is healthy-internet porn is not sex.
- Porn has the most potential to become addictive.
- Numbed pleasure response.
- Willpower erosion.
- Erectile Dysfunction
- Less obvious symptoms: depression, memory, some of the meds, dropped out of college.
- Changes in taste.
- ED and Delayed ejaculation.
- Anxiety, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, morning wood, loss of motivation to have sex with real people.
- Changing porn taste. More extreme and more shocking.
- Strengthen the (brain) pathways you want
- Regain stimulation from things you were numb to
- How can you tell...
- Rule things out. Reboot can never hurt.
- What to avoid: porn/artificial sexual stimulation. If it's not real, no deal.
- Rewiring doesn't just mean sex. It means all of the things that are important to me.
- Karezza
- Gains
- Appreciation for the small things, like a smile.
- Sex feels amazing, and ejaculation happens quicker
- Refractory period shortens.
- Difficulty:
- Withdrawal symptoms
- Flat-lining: complete drop in libido. (his lasted 6 months.)
- Learn about addiction
- "Wait a minute, we should think about this" becomes weaker
- Move computer to a public place.
- Stop doing things that would have normally easily led to porn use
- Avoid things that make you think about it. TV, radio, etc.
- FAP: Fun, active, and productive like physical activity and music.
- Seek support.
- Know that it takes time.
- Change your mindset: porn is not an option anymore
- Using porn to help put you to sleep
- Exercise instead, read, meditate...
- After withdrawal, sleep is fine.
- You will have plenty of problems sleeping while trying to "reboot"
- Wet dreams:
- It's normal.
- They start happening during "reboot"
- It's OK during recovery. You're not reinforcing bad habits.
- Keep track of how you feel
- might be more likely to have one if the day before is more stressful, or if you are sexually aroused before falling asleep.
- Dreaming of porn doesn't mean you are on the way to relapse.
- Morning Wood:
- It's not normal for a guy to not have morning wood.
- Some "rebooters" were able to have successful sex before their morning wood came back. (In the morning?)
I know there is a lot of repeat, but that just really reaffirmed a lot of things for me. Hearing them over and over. I've watched each of these videos at least three times, as well as many others, and I probably will continue to return to them again when things get hard. Or don't.
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