Looking Back: Part 1.2 The Signs (that I missed)

The last post was a long list of the signs that I felt I could clearly see now in hind sight. This is a list of some of the signs that I agree I can now clearly see in hindsight but didn't come to find until after reading through various list around the web.

Things I didn't think of:

1. Internet history and hidden folders: I did think of this, just not when writing the list. I remember going on his computer one day and not seeing anything and then feeling like shit for spying on him since it had been so long since I'd checked up on him. Then for some reason I decided to click on "recent" in his folder history. Sure enough, I found tons. And because I'm so smart, I could even see the dates the files were created and when they were last accessed. I remember thinking he was using a different browser at first, 
2. Becomes critical of your appearance: It's not that I didn't think of it, I just didn't think to put it into these words. After all, I do think I mentioned him telling me he wasn't physically attracted to me on more than one occasion up there. Of all of these things I've talked about and probably will talk about in the future, this is the one that hurts the most. 
3. Using the computer only in private. I honestly didn't think to include this in my long list, but it does make a lot of sense, and I did think about this. Sort of. I remarked to my husband about how I had asked him numerous times to move his computer into our bedroom. He didn't want to for "needing space" and other reasons. I never felt-when he would tell me these things- that they were particularly valid reasons. When we were talking about it just the other day, he continued to tell me his reasons and stood by them, but at least he acknowledged that it may be a good idea. At the time of writing this, he's out of town for work and I really want to just move his computer for him. But... A big part of me is holding back because I strongly feel like the want to change has to come from him. Also that also goes for making the decisions that will help. 
4. Unexplained hours on the internet: For me, it wasn't the heading for this blurb, but the meat of it. It talked about losing hours of the day-or night-to looking at porn, and that is very accurate for my husband. There have been several times, especially lately, that he remarks on how much time he spent on the computer, "just bull shitting" (which means porn, you tube, games, forums...) that he could have used to do something productive. 
5. Unknown email accounts or rental mail boxes. My husband is a frugal man, so I sincerely doubt he has a PO Box somewhere. Besides, we live in a small town and he forgets to drop of one piece of mail for weeks. This is why he doesn't do the bills. However, he does have several email accounts, one of which I know is entirely dedicated to porn crap. He tells me it's his "gaming account" and I don't disbelieve that's how it started off. I do know however, that it's also the account that he uses to create other accounts with that have to do with porn too. 
6. There may be a preference for climax through masturbation. One time most recently, when I tried to get him to explain to me why he masturbates instead of having sex with me, he told me that sometimes his hand can make his penis feel certain ways that I just can't. I told him that this wasn't fair to me because he's robbing me of the chance to share in a sexual experience with him, and that even though he says his hands can do things my vagina or mouth can't, that doesn't mean that I don't have hands too-I just need guidance to get at what he's looking for.