Looking Back: Part 1.1 - The Signs

Note: there are a few things that have links to them. This is either because it is the first time I saw it, or because the way they approached the line just rubbed me like my husband rubs his penis-wrong.

Some of the signs that I can see now in hindsight are:

1. How quickly the rate of having sex went down.
• When we first started having sex, we were very young and didn't have the chance to often. I figured that the rate in which we had sex went down because it was more readily available after we moved in together. Then I also figured it had to do with the novelty factor-sex was new and hard to get. Little did I know... novelty. 
2. How often I had to be the one to initiate sex.
• For the longest time we chalked this up to me having more of a sex drive than him. And even in thinking that, we thought that it was me that had an overly large one, not him having an almost nonexistent one. Eventually though, I did become convinced that it really was his sex drive that was out of whack, and after a while he admitted/owned up to it to. 
3. His lack of interest in sex in general.
• I know this ties into the above, but I made it a separate line because I wanted to talk him making excuses as to why he didn't feel "in the mood". At first it was that he was tired, then it was because he was stressed, then it was because he liked it in the morning and he didn't want to wake me. Eventually, after nagging him to please tell me why he didn't want to have sex with me, he told me it was because he didn't find me physically attractive. 
4. His lack of interest in intimacy in general. 
• It wasn't that long ago that I started to really push this, but it was a very long time ago that I started to notice this as a problem and complain. Pretty early on, he simply didn't want to kiss me with any sort of passion. At first he said it was because he worked with raw chicken all day and just felt gross. More recently I had started complaining about him not just simply holding me, or touch me (not sexually).
5. Erection problems
• This has been an on and off thing for a while, but it was the main reason why he told me he didn't find me sexually attractive anymore. There has been several time in which we would begin to have sex, then we would have to stop because his penis just couldn't stay hard. Sometimes he would say it's because I made him have sex when he didn't feel like it and other times he would say it was because he was just too stressed out. 
6. How often he would look at porn.
• There's a lot I can say about this. I remember him telling me about his random jerk off marathons when he was younger, just as an experiment. I also remember porn being a big thing both before we moved in together and afterwords. At first I would even watch it with him. Then, within the last few years, he started to buy a few DVDs. He didn't really watch them though, which I found strange. But the number of files on his computer began to grow to absurd amounts. 
7. How his taste in porn changed over the years.
• I know this sort of ties into what I was saying above, but I just remember thinking, "man, he's really into watching blow jobs and facials. I thought he just wasn't into that though. I probably just can't do it well enough." Then thinking, "Jeez, this is a lot of anal sex". To just being out right disgusted with some of the things I found. I just chalked it up to him going on massive download binges, and not really paying attention to what he was getting. I mean, when I said something about some of the more out there stuff, that's basically what he told me.
8. His massive collect. His reluctance to delete it. His eagerness to rebuild it. 
• At the point that I became disgusted with a lot of what I was seeing, I eventually asked him to delete it all. It wasn't just that I was disgusted with a lot of things, I didn't even bring that up until after the fact because I was in some serious denial. It was mostly just that things had been so bad for so long and I wanted it to change. I accepted that he didn't find me sexually attractive, but I also felt like he would never give himself the chance to move past that if he didn't stop lusting over what I would never, could never be.
9. His continued porn use even after begging and pleading with him to stop. 
• Over the years there were several occasions where I told him I didn't like him watching porn and masturbating. Eventually, that evolved into me telling him that I wanted him to stop. Then it turned into me asking him to stop. Then pleading. Then begging. Eventually it bothered me so much that I had a mental break down and had to start going to therapy. He (is/was) still doing it. 

Keep in mind that I made this list only after watching the videos I shared in a previous post and other like it. I have yet to read or see, "Signs your partner is addicted to porn" yet, because I haven't felt the need to read or see what "crazy ladies" (who have no idea and are just trying to get hits) think. I will check some out after posting this, just to see if I can find any legitimate sources and to compare.